Sex Communication Checklist Glossary

Click on the individual terms below to go to the definition.

Sensual Play

Sensual Play


Sitting or laying close, wrapping your body up with another.

Try it! You can get creative here, find a way that feels good to be close to your lover. You can face each other, rest your head on their lap, hold their legs in yours, keep your faces closer together or further apart. This is all about getting intimate and comfortable.


Laying back to belly, cuddled up together on your sides. 

Try it! You can be a big spoon, holding your lover’s back to your front or a little spoon with your back wrapped into your lover’s front.


Covering your own or your lover’s eyes to take away vision and enhance other sensations.

Try it! You can do this with a scarf, a silk tie, an eye mask – anything that feels sexy to you. Once you or your partner are blindfolded, you can play with other senses, turning on music, lightly breathing across their skin, kissing, touching with feathers or whips, etc.

Sensual/Erotic Massage

Massaging your lover’s erogenous zones (genitals, low back, check, neck – they vary from person to person!) with the intention of creating arousal and pleasure, as well as intimacy and relaxation.

Try it! Use your hands creatively throughout your lover’s body. Remember that you can touch their genitals and stimulate arousal there and then blend it with their full body arousal by touching multiple areas at once. Watch Jaiya give a short introduction to some simple movements!

Scalp Massage

Massaging a lover’s scalp – it can also involve massaging the face and neck, pulling their hair, etc. 

Try it! Have your lover sit or lay in a position that’s comfortable for both of you. Find a position that allows them to fully rest. You can play here and find the movements and sensations that turn your lover on most. Maybe they’ll like you to squeeze your fingers across their scalp, maybe they’ll want you to grab their hair and pull (softly or roughly). Communicate with your partner to see what they like, and if they want to experiment, just keep communicating as you go!

Nipple Play

Giving sensory attention to the nipples! You can use your hands, your breath, your mouth, toys or temperature play. 

Try it! Explore the nipple area of yourself and/or your lover with different sensations. Pinching, nibbling, circling the areola around the nipple, using different strokes across and underneath the breast, gliding heat or cold across the area.

Temperature Play (Hot)

Using heat on your lover’s body, like body-safe wax candles that drip and pool onto their skin.

Try it! Get a sex-specific candle, which can usually melt and then be massaged into the skin. Light the candle until the wax starts to melt, and drip the warm wax onto your own or your lover’s skin. Massage it in using any motions that create pleasure!

Temperature Play (Cold)

Using cool/cold on your lover’s body, like ice cubes. 

Try it! Take some ice cubes and draw them across your lover’s body. Notice where they respond with pleasure, with what movements (circular, lines) and in what areas (their neck, low back).

Fur Mitts

Mittens made of soft material (real fur or faux fur options are available on many adult toy shops), used for sensation play to enhance pleasure.

Try it! Put on a pair of fur mitts and run them across your own or your lover’s skin. Play with different types of pressure – deep touch or feather light caresses – and look for erogenous zones to maximize the pleasure you can find in sensation.

Sensation Toys

A wide range of toys that activate sensory experiences in order to enhance pleasure and arousal. You can play with wax candles, floggers (leather or other materials), paddles, flavored body oils and lubes. Sex toy shops will have many options, and you can also play with what you find in your home!

Try it! Go alone or with your partner to a store and browse their sensation section. Run toys along your skin, enjoy the smells, see what turns you on and bring it home to try! You can also use what’s in your home already – let your senses guide you to what you already own that could add pleasure into your life.


Bringing your lips to your lover’s lips or to another part of their body. 

Try it! There are so many ways to give and receive pleasure in a kiss. You can kiss lightly, you can barely kiss, you can use your tongue and press your bodies together. Play around and find your most pleasurable ways of kissing and being kissed.


Gently taking some of your lover’s skin in between your teeth, and barely biting down.

Try it! In between kisses, try nibbling your lover’s lip, or their neck, or anywhere on their body you know that they receive a lot of pleasure. Listen to how they respond and talk about it! You can also explore biting down with more pressure, or keep it light.

Sensual Eating/Feasting

Slowing down to enjoy eating/feasting as a full multisensory experience, that invites your senses of sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing to the table!

Try it! Create a plate of foods that offer a multisensory experience – different textures, flavors, colors – and slow down to appreciate the sensual experience of taking them into your body. Notice how foods glide, crunch, and pop in your mouth. Savor the smells and colors on your plate.

Slow Dancing

Like a prom scene, getting close to your lover and moving together to music that brings you into your bodies. 

Try it! Find a song that you both like, wrap yourselves around each other standing up, and move to the music. You don’t have to know any particular steps, just listen to each other and follow the energy between you.

Full Body Contact

Creating full body contact between yourself and a lover – finding ways to be and move that create as much physical closeness as possible.

Try it! Find a way to get comfortable and settle into a cuddle with your lover. As you soften into each other, keep shifting and cuddling as your bodies come into deeper and deeper levels of contact across the vastness of your skin.

Body Sliding with Oil

Covering your own and a lover’s body in oil, and sliding against each other. 

Try it! Find a slippery oil that you both like, and use it liberally on your bodies. Once coated, cuddle and slide your bodies against each other in ways that give you pleasure.

Music During Sex

Find music that turns you on! You can explore this solo or with a lover. 

Try it! Think about music that’s given you pleasure or turned you on in the past, and start there. Maybe it’s sensual, heavy, and slow. Maybe it’s ethereal and soft. Maybe it’s rough and rhythmic. Make a playlist for yourself or put on an album and let the music enhance the pleasure of touching and being touched.

Sensual Bathing/Showering

Bathing or showering with the intention of giving yourself pleasure through sensory experience. 

Try it! You can set the scene here with candlelight, music, and scents to give yourself a multisensory experience. In the experience, let your body feel and savor the sensuality of the water on your skin, in your hair, the feeling of soap or oil on your body, and any self or lover’s touch that feels good.

Erotic Swimming/Watsu

Watsu comes from ‘water’ and ‘shiatsu’ and is done by a practitioner in the water. You relax and float, held by the practitioner, and they stretch, massage, and twist your body. In the water, the body tends to relax more than it does on solid ground.

Try it! Find a Watsu practitioner and give it a try!

Erotic Photography

Photography with the intention of creating sensual and erotic photos – think boudoir shoots, silks and satins, and lacey lingerie. 

Try it! You can do this in clothes, in lingerie, naked – whatever allows you to feel the full potency of your sexiness! Create a sensual environment for yourself, maybe with soft blankets and pillows or silky straps to drape around your body. Choose your lighting, and take your pictures. You can do this with a lover, or set up a camera with a timer to try with yourself.

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