Sex Communication Checklist Glossary

Click on the individual terms below to go to the definition.

Sexual Play


Sex within a limited frame of time, when a couple is spontaneously aroused or has a short amount of time, and often with little to no foreplay involved.

Try it! Next time you or your lover feel aroused and in a time crunch, let each other know you want the other! Be bold, forward, and of course consensual in the ways you touch each other.


A sex toy shaped like an erect penis. They come in different materials (silicone and flexible, crystal, etc). 

Try it! Dildos can be used for pleasure in any way you’d play with a penis. You can insert them vaginally, anally, orally, play with them against your skin.

Butt Plugs

A sex toy meant to be inserted into the anus, usually with a wider end to prevent the toy from getting lost inside the rectum.

Try it! Like dildos, butt plugs come with lots of variety and escalations in size so you can work with a size that gives you pleasure and size up if that feels good! You can use a butt plug while receiving vaginal penetration if you like double sensations.

Sex in Public

Having sex in a place that is not private to you and your lover – a hiking trail, an alleyway, a car in a lot, an airplane bathroom. This is something to try if you get a thrill from the potential of being seen, heard, found.

Try it! Go somewhere in public with your lover, and find a spot that you want to get it on! Keep in mind that there may be repercussions for being found, so make sure you’re both comfortable with that.

Rough Sex

Sex that involves aggressive/assertive/vigorous behaviors, all within the consensual agreement between lovers. 

Try it! Spanking, biting, slapping, throwing your lover on the bed or being thrown, pinning down or being pinned, choking, and hair pulling are all behaviors commonly played with in rough sex. The high energy of the experience, the dominance and submission are a big turn on for many!

Ravishment/Being Taken

Similar to rough sex, the energy of ravishment is to take and be taken. The lover ravishing confidently takes their partner, taking and giving pleasure as they desire. The lover being ravished gets to surrender to the forcefulness of the other.

Try it! Always with consent, notice within your lovership – do you have a desire to take or be taken? What role would turn you on to play? With rougher forms of sex, it can be helpful to have clear signals of when the experience is too much for either partner. Get clear and consensual, and explore this world together!

Pounding During Intercourse

High intensity penetration, in which the one penetrating thrusts strongly and quickly into the one being penetrated. 

Try it! When the body is aroused and ready for deep penetration (vaginally or anally), play with the voracity of thrusting. Pounding often comes with bodies smacking together loudly, and the sound and sensation can increase pleasure. You can pair pounding with teasing or moving slowly and sensually to play with variety and keep a lover on their toes.

Sex During Period

Having sex while one or both partners is menstruating.

Try it! There are lots of options for period sex. If you’re worried about blood spills and stains, you can wear a menstrual disc (not cup) or lay a towel or waterproof blanket down. You can engage in penetrative, oral, or anal sex, use toys, or play with the body in other ways. 

Keep in mind that period blood is a way of transmitting STIs, so get checked with your partner and then go forward with whatever safety measures you may need in place and enjoy!

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